2021大学英语四级美文赏析：English as a Crazy Language思维导图

Let’sfaceit—Englishisacrazylanguage.Thereisneithereggineggplantnorhaminhamburger;neitherapplenorpineinpineapple.Englishmuffinsweren’tinventedinEnglandorFrenchfriesinFrance.Sweetmeatsarecandieswhilesweetbreads,whicharen’tsweet,aremeat.WetakeEnglishforgranted.Butifweexploreitsparadoxes,wefindthatquicksandcanworkslowly,boxingringsaresquareandaguineapigisneitherfromGuineanorisitapig.Ifthepluraloftoothisteeth,whyisn’tthepluralofboothbeeth?

Onegoose,twogeese.Soonemoose,twomeese?Doesn’titseemcrazythatyoucanmakeamendsbutnotoneamend,thatyoucombthroughannalsofhistorybutnotasingleannal?Ifyouhaveabunchofoddsandendsandgetridofallbutoneofthem,whatdoyoucallit?SometimesIthinkalltheEnglishspeakersshouldbecommittedtoanasylumfortheverballyinsane.Inwhatlanguagedopeoplereciteataplayandplayatarecital?Shipbytruckandsendcargobyship?Havenosesthatrunandfeetthatsmell?

Parkondrivewaysanddriveonparkways?Howcanaslimchanceandafatchancebethesame,whileawisemanandwiseguyareopposite?Howcantheweatherbehotashellonedayandcoldashellanother?Englishwasinventedbypeople,notcomputers,anditreflectsthecreativityofthehumanrace.Thatiswhy,whenthestarsareout,theyarevisible,butwhenthelightsareout,theyareinvisible.Andwhy,whenIwindupmywatch,Istartit,butwhenIwindupthisessay,Iendit.