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　　为帮助各位网友更好地备考作文考试，特对四存在的典型错误用例文进行精彩点评。

树图思维导图提供 CET写作典型错误点评在线思维导图免费制作，点击“编辑”按钮，可对 CET写作典型错误点评进行在线思维导图编辑，本思维导图属于思维导图模板主题，文件编号是：5c83e041ee8a8a7a73a18caa4dd60099

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为帮助各位网友更好地备考作文考试，特对四存在的典型错误用例文进行精彩点评。由于下面一些例文中错误较多，点评时只是列举了部分的典型错误，而且为了保持原文面貌，编辑没有做过多的改动，所以欢迎大家一起来挑错，有问题一起讨论。

作文题目：“WomenintheModernWorld”

英语作文提纲：

1.Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.________

2.Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women'spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.______

3.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.__

例1．（2分段）

Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.Longage,womenonlydidsomethinginthekitchenorathome.Nowmanyofthemhaveseriousjobstoserveforpeople.Whatmencandosocanwomen.

Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women'spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Todayinthefamily,thewifeoftenlotsherhusbandtodosomethingathomebatago,onlywomendidsomething.Menarefonedofdoingsomethingathome.

Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened.Inthefactorythewonmentoasmuchasthemen,buttheyarepaidlessthanthemen.Somepeoplehavenotcompletelyrealizedtheliberationofwomen.

东方教育点评：条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有的甚至影响理解。具体问题剖析如下：

(1)缺乏逻辑，东一句西一句，没有围绕中心论述，如第一段就没有展开论述妇女社会角色的转变，说得太笼统而缺乏说服力。

（2）用汉语思维，句子有明显的汉语痕迹，如“Whatmencandosocanwomen.”，应改为“Womencandowhatmencando”。

（3）衔接不自然，没有用适当的关联词，如“Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghaswelf,oftenhappened”，应改为“Thecasethathusbandhitshiswifeoftenhappens.”

（4）拼写错误很多，大部分句子均有错误。

例2．（5分段）

Womenareplayinganincreasinglyimportantpartinsocietytoday.Intoday,manywomenhaveawork.Theyworkedaswellasmenplayinganimportantpartinfactories.Therearemanywomeningovernmentalso.Theyleadotherpeoplecountry,andmakeoutplans.Therearemanyscientistslso.Theyeventnewthingstoimproveourlife.

Withthechangesintheirsocialrole,women'spositioninthefamilyhasbeenimprovedaswell.Inancient,women'spositioninfamilyispity.Theyhadtolooksaftertheirchildren,dideveryhowhusbandorderedhertodo.Butnowitischanged.Theyareequaltoherhusband.Theyhavetherightofspeakingofidea,discussionthingwithherhusband,dowhatshewantstodo.

Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofwomenhasnotbeencompletelyrealized.Wealsoshouldrealize,women'likertyarelimited.Forexample,manyfactorieswantmenbecomeitsworkersbutthechanceofwomenislessthanmen.Everyoneshoulddotheirbesttochangethiscondition.I'msure,theliberationofwomenwouldbeincreased.

专家点评：切题。论证充分，有说服力，论证手段丰富（举例、正反）表达思想清楚，语言流畅，词汇丰富，连贯性好。用词准确，仅有个别小错误。