2012年12月大学英语四级写作方法：切忌过于依赖从句思维导图

Plain:Thechildrenatschoolwerefamiliarwithmanygames,butLiHuahadneverevenheardofthem.

Interesting:ThechildrenatschoolwerefamiliarwithgamesLiHuahadneverevenheardof.

Plain:Theroomwassilent,butsuddenlytherewasaclapofthunderoutside.

Interesting:Thesilenceoftheroomwasbrokenbyasuddenclapofthunderoutside.

Plain:Theywerepassionateloversnotonlyonstagebutalsooffstage.

Better:Theywerepassionateloversonstageandoff.

Plain:Outsidethecinema,shelitacigarette,notnecessarilybecauseshehadadesiretosmoke,butbecauseshefelttheneedforwarmth.

Better:Outsidethecinema,shelitacigarette,asmuchfromtheneedforwarmthasfromanydesiretosmoke.

Plain:Itwasmeanttobeabriefkiss,butitturnedintoalong,lingeringone.

Interesting:Whatwasmeanttobeabriefkissturnedintoalong,lingeringone.

Plain:Musiclightenslife,butliteraturedeepensit.

Interesting:Musiclightenslife;literaturedeepensit.

Plain:Thefilm"ChariotsofFire"isaboutsomeyoungrunners,butitismorethanjustthat.

Interesting:Thefilm"ChariotsofFire"ismuchmorethanjustastoryofyoungrunners.

Plain:Itisnothisheightbuthisweightthatpreventedhimfromcompetingintherace.

Interesting:Hisweight,nothisheight,preventedhimfromcompetingintherace.

Plain:Susanseemedunsuitableforthepart,butsheturnedouttobethebestactressintheproduction.

Interesting:Susanseemedunsuitableforthepart,yetsheturnedouttobethebestactressintheproduction.

Plain:OldWangisoftendescribedasahappy-go-luckyperson,butthelasthalfhourofthehikehomehewasinterestedinnothingbutabathandabed.

Interesting:OldWang,anotherwisehappy-go-luckyperson,thoughtofonlytwothingsthelasthalfhourofthehikehome:abathandabed.

关于"if...then"和"if"从句

Before:Ifyoufailtopassthedrugtest,wewillhavetodismissyoufromyourjob.

After:Failuretopassthedrugtestwillresultinjobdismissal.

修改后的句子语气显得稍强一些。同时因为句中省掉了"you"，使句子在语气上减少了对抗性。这个解题对策适用于每种人称，不单单指"you"。

Plain:Ifoneimitates,onecannotexpecttobegreat.

Interesting:Nopersoneveryetbecamegreatbyimitation.

Plain:Ifwewanttoendawarquickly,wemustloseit.

Interesting:Thequickestwaytoendawaristoloseit.

Plain:Ifweweredirectedfromgovernmentbureaucracywhentosow,andwhentoreap,weshouldsoonwantbread.

Interesting:Werewedirectedfromgovernmentbureaucracywhentosow,andwhentoreap,weshouldsoonwantbread.

Plain:Severalstaffmembershavecheckedthemanuscripttoseeifitisaccurateandeasytouse.

Interesting:Severalstaffmembershavecheckedthemanuscriptforaccuracyandeaseofuse.

Plain:Ifwordsaretakenoutofcontext,theyarenotverylikelytomeanthesameastheydowhentheyareincontext.

Interesting:Wordstakenoutofcontextdonotalwaysmeanwhattheydoincontext.