2012年12月大学英语四级写作方法：and和松散句思维导图

RamblingSentencesandtheubiquitous"and"

"and"和松散句

松散句在文章中随处可见，难以消亡。松散句在语法上并没错误，它只是太长，且干扰读者对文章的理解，不幸的是，犯有此类毛病的作者往往屡见不鲜。对此可遵循一条好的原则：如果发现一个句子长及两到三行，则仔细考虑两遍，它很可能要彻底改动。

Rambling:Theplanewasreadytotakeoff;havingnevertraveledbyplanebeforehesuddenlyfeltnervousastheskyominouslyturnedfromgraytoblack,andthreateningboltsoflightningshotacrossthesky,andthunderechoedinthedistance.

Better:Theplanewasreadytotakeoff.Hehadnevertraveledbyplaneandsuddenlyfeltnervousastheskyturnedominouslyfromgraytoblack.Threateningboltsoflighteningshotacrossthesky,andthunderechoedinthedistance.

Rambling:WeregrettoinformyouthatinclementweatherconditionsinourareahavecausedustoreschedulealldeliveriesforthemonthofFebruarysothatwemustalsorescheduleshipmentofyourordertoFebruary16.

Better:I’msorrytoletyouknowthatawinterstormwilldelayshipmentofyourorderuntilFebruary16.

松散句经常有很多"and"。在口语中，尚可多用几个"and"但若过多地出现在书面英语中，则令人难以接受。取代"and"的方法是改用逗号或从属结构，或者干脆省略。

Plain:TheGovernorofHongKongdescendedthelongandwindingstaircase.

Interesting:TheGovernorofHongKongdescendedthelong,windingstaircase.

Plain:Mygrandparentsspentlongsummerhoursundertheold,tallandshadytreeinthecourtyard.

Interesting:Mygrandparentsspentlongsummerhoursundertheold,tall,shadytreeinthecourtyard.

Plain:Byattendingthisworkshop,youwilllearnjustwhichcosmeticessentialsyouneedandwhichformulasarejustyourstyle.

Interesting:Byattendingthisworkshop,youwilllearnjustwhichcosmeticessentialsyouneed,whichformulasarejustyourstyle.

Plain:Toamanharassedbyanaggingwifeandundisciplinedchildren,workawayfromhomecanbeagreatblessing,andawelcomeescape.

Interesting:Toamanharassedbyanaggingwifeandundisciplinedchildren,workawayfromhomecanbeagreatblessing,awelcomeescape.

Ineffective:TheYangtzeRiverisoneofthelongestriversintheworld,andinthespringtimeitoccasionallyoverflowsitsbanks,andmanypeopleareendangered.

Improved:TheYangtzeRiver,oneofthelongestriversintheworld,occasionallyendangersmanypeopleduringthespringtimebyoverflowingitsbanks.

Ineffective:Thevillagehadapopulationofseventhousand,andatyphoonstruckit,anditwaspracticallydemolished.

Improved:Thevillage,withitsseventhousandpeople,wasstruckbyatyphoonandpracticallydemolished.

Ineffective:Hewasthemayorofthetown,andhewasagenialfellow,andheinvitedthefouryoungboysintohisstudy.

Improved:Themayorofthetown,agenialfellow,invitedthefouryoungboysintohisstudy.

Ineffective:ThecentralplainholdsSwitzerland’smajormanufacturingfacilitiesandmanyofthemspecializeinhigh-qualityandprecisionproducts.

Improved:ThecentralplainholdsSwitzerland’smajormanufacturingfacilities,manyofthemspecializinginhigh-quality,precisionproducts.

Plain:Ihadalwayswantedtogotocollege,andIhadalwayswishedtobecomeanengineer,andsoIenrolledatDalianUniversityofScienceandTechnology

Interesting:BecauseIhadalwayswantedtoentercollegeandpreparemyselftobecomeanengineer,IenrolledatDalianUniversityofScienceandTechnology.

OrBetter:

IenrolledatDalianUniversityofScienceandTechnologytoachievemydoublepurposeofattendingcollegeandbecominganengineer.

Plain:Nearthecenterofthecampusofouruniversityanewbuildinghasbeenerected,anditisconstructedofredbrick.

Better:Ared-brickbuildinghasbeenerectednearthecenterofouruniversitycampus.

或Nearthecenterofouruniversitycampusisthebrandnewred-brickbuilding.

大学英语四、六级考试---四级写作备考资料